by Father Jomon Palatty, MSFS
The story of Jabbok in the Book of Genesis has always touched my heart. Jabbok was the place where Jacob wrestled through the night with God. He arrived there carrying fear, uncertainty and the burdens of his past. Yet he did not leave Jabbok the same person. His struggle became a moment of transformation. He received a new name, a new identity and a renewed sense of purpose.
I believe that every person has a Jabbok in life — a place of struggle, uncertainty, fear and challenge where God quietly works within us. Sometimes we do not recognize it while we are going through it. We may simply wonder why something is so difficult. Only later do we realize that God was using that experience to shape us and prepare us for something greater.
My Jabbok was learning English.
When I came to America, one of the greatest challenges I faced was learning to communicate in English. For someone who had grown up speaking Malayalam, English was not easy. There were moments when I felt frustrated, embarrassed and inadequate. I wanted to express my thoughts clearly, especially in ministry, but sometimes the words did not come easily.
Language was not simply a subject I needed to study. It became a daily struggle. I had to listen carefully, learn new words, practice speaking and accept that I would make mistakes.
But slowly, I began to understand that my struggle was not a sign of failure. It was becoming my Jabbok.
Like Jacob, I had to wrestle — not only with a language, but also with my fears, limitations and insecurities. I had to surrender my desire to be perfect and trust that God could work through my weaknesses.
My Jabbok taught me patience and humility. It taught me that it is perfectly acceptable to struggle while learning. It taught me to laugh at my mistakes, to keep trying and to depend more deeply on God.
I do not claim that the struggle is over. English continues to teach me humility! But I have learned something important: God does not wait for us to become perfect before he calls us to serve. He works through our weaknesses, our limitations and even our struggles.
Looking back, I can see that my Jabbok was not simply an obstacle. It was a blessing in disguise. The struggle changed me. It brought me closer to God and helped me understand that ministry is not about having perfect words. It is about having a heart willing to love, listen, serve and accompany God’s people.
Perhaps you have your own Jabbok. It may be a difficult relationship, an illness, a loss, a financial struggle, a new responsibility, loneliness or a fear about the future. Whatever it may be, do not assume that God is absent from your struggle.
Sometimes Jabbok is precisely where God is waiting to transform us.
Jacob crossed the river carrying his fears, but he left carrying God’s blessing. My journey through the challenge of English has taught me the same lesson: What feels like a struggle today may become the very place where God prepares us for tomorrow.
May we never be afraid of our Jabbok. May we enter it with faith, wrestle with courage, surrender ourselves to God and trust that when the morning comes, we will leave transformed.
