by Catherine Halbmaier
Special to The Leaven
KANSAS CITY, Kan. — Maryann Traxler was “on a train with no intention of stopping” when the COVID-19 pandemic forced her to move home in 2020.
Traxler, a professional actress, grew up a member of Prince of Peace Parish in Olathe. Following high school, she spent two years pursuing her dream career in New York City, followed by almost three years performing on cruise ships.
This July, Traxler performed as Elsa in the Coaterie’s local production of “Frozen” — and she did so while six months pregnant with her first child.
“I was hopeful that, though it was difficult and vulnerable for me, it would be really powerful for other people to see,” said Traxler.
Believing in God’s abundance
Traxler’s most recent role is just the tip of the iceberg.
She had no plans to stay in Kansas City post-pandemic. That changed when she met her future husband on a dating app.
“I knew that we were both headed for marriage,” said Traxler. “We were both so passionate about vocation.”
Traxler said her excitement to be married was at times tinted by anxiety.
“It was a very scary time for me,” she said.
“I experienced so much spiritual attack that [marriage] would mean no more theater, no more New York City, no more performing professionally,” she continued.
Then, God turned everything on its head.
“I had kind of fallen under the belief that I think many young performers do — that we can’t do both. We can’t both be married and have a career that we love,” she said.
But the Lord’s plans, and her husband’s unwavering support, proved that this belief was not reality.
Once settled and married in Kansas City, Traxler’s career began to thrive in an unprecedented way.
“I was working more than I had before,” she said, “but in a way that felt really fulfilling for my soul because I returned home to my husband and my family.
“It completely transformed my belief of how I could be both a performer, and a wife and a mother.”
Becoming Elsa — and a mother
The biggest news of Traxler’s career came three days after the biggest news of her life.
“I probably would have wept about getting Elsa had I not found out I was pregnant three days before,” Traxler said.
“But everything paled in comparison at that point,” she added.
In light of her pregnancy, Traxler worried the director would feel differently about giving her the part of an iconic Disney character.
“I had never seen a pregnant person play a role like this,” she said, “and I had hardly experienced people living their Catholic faith authentically and performing in theater, let alone somebody that’s pregnant. So, I just was like, what is the rubric for this?”
But Traxler’s director, a mother herself, encouraged the actress.
“I was kind of struggling,” said Traxler. “Some people may be able to tell in this dress that I’m carrying a child. Like, is this okay? And [the director] looked at me and she said, ‘This is the time that you will be the most creative in your life . . . and have the most access to depth and emotion, and you will tell this story more beautifully now than you ever would have before.’
“And that’s been a beautiful journey because I found that to be absolutely true.”
Because of this experience, Traxler now believes motherhood will enable her to perform in ways she never would have before.
“The Lord has just been demolishing any insecurity, any lies and old, buried beliefs that he doesn’t desire to fulfill us if we are willing to lay it all down for him,” she said.
Through living out her career and vocation, Traxler has found that the Lord desires to transform us into the creation we were always meant to be.
“God is so pro-our dreams and what is best for us,” said Traxler. “He loves us so much that we don’t have to shove all these other things aside.
“And we don’t have to shove vocation aside to be a part of society in a really big, beautiful way.”
