by Therese Horvat
Special to The Leaven
KANSAS CITY, Kan. — Working through the heartbreak of losing her newborn son, Nicole Lauer chose to memorialize him by creating a fund to provide headstones for other infants who have died.
Initially established in the Diocese of Wichita, the Kade Lauer Memorial Fund has expanded to encompass families served by Catholic Cemeteries of Northeast Kansas, a ministry of the Archdiocese of Kansas City in Kansas. Bryan Alonzo, director of operations and sales, said that Catholic Cemeteries offers discounted burial arrangements for families who have experienced the loss of an infant. However, this does not include a headstone.
“The Kade Lauer Memorial Fund gives us an important resource to draw from to assist families challenged by the expense of purchasing a headstone for the gravesite of a deceased infant,” Alonzo said. “We appreciate that Nicole reached out to us and has enabled us to provide additional support for the families we serve.”
Lauer was originally from St. Joseph Parish in Shawnee, where she and her husband Brian were married. The couple has lived in Wichita the past several years. Nicole was teaching first grade and progressing through a normal first pregnancy. She recalls that things were moving along with no signs of any problems and that everything seemed fine. Until it wasn’t.
She went into premature labor. Kade was born at 2:30 a.m. on April 17, 2018. He lived for only 99 minutes. This was time enough to form a lasting bond of love with his parents, to be baptized and to meet his grandparents.
When Kade died, Nicole knew she wanted to do something special to remember him. While visiting his grave in the Catholic cemetery in Wichita where Kade is buried, she noticed infant graves without headstones. This apparent unmet need tugged at her heart and led to a discussion with the staff of Catholic Cemeteries of Wichita.
In 2022, using social media, Nicole invited her family and friends to contribute to a fund named in memory of Kade. Its main purpose was to offset the expense of headstones for deceased infants.
The response exceeded — and continues to exceed — Nicole’s expectations. To date, the fund has provided headstones for 53 infants, most of them buried in Wichita’s three Catholic cemeteries. That number is expected to increase as the fund grows here in the archdiocese.
Hearing Kade’s name associated with the fund has helped Nicole heal. She feels a connection with other parents who have lost their infants.
Nicole dreams of someday establishing a nonprofit agency to oversee this fund. For now, however, the busy mom of two healthy daughters, ages 6 and 4, is focused on being the voice to tell the story behind the fund and to encourage contributions from donors.
The Catholic Cemeteries organizations in the Archdiocese of Kansas City in Kansas and in the Diocese of Wichita serve as the repositories of the fund. Cemetery family service advisers discuss the fund with families who have lost an infant to determine if there is a need for full or partial financial assistance for a headstone. Financial contributions to the fund serving the archdiocese are tax-exempt and can be made through the Catholic Cemeteries’ website at: cathcemks.org/kade-lauer-memorial-fund; or by sending a check payable to Catholic Cemeteries, P.O. Box 19203, Lenexa, KS 66285 (noting in the memo: Kade Lauer Memorial Fund).
Catholic Cemeteries also has funds available to assist with burial arrangements for infants and special services for unborn children. Visit the website at: cathcemks.org/unborn-children-and-infants; call (913) 371-4040; or send an email to: information@cathcemks.org.
