by Jill Ragar Esfeld
jill.esfeld@theleaven.org
KANSAS CITY, Kan. — This year, the Dieker family, hailing from St. Teresa Parish in Westphalia, had a very special way of ushering in the season of Advent.
Eighty family members from throughout the region gathered at the Savior Pastoral Center in Kansas City, Kansas, for a weekend of sharing meals, games and their Catholic faith.
On the final evening, they participated in a live rosary and Nativity play followed by a talent show.
Then, everyone from oldest uncles to the youngest cousins exchanged stockings filled with homemade treats and trinkets.
The celebration culminated with a lively rendition of “Winter Wonderland” on kazoos.
The next morning they gathered for Advent Sunday Mass.
It’s not the first time the Diekers have celebrated this way. As a matter of fact, they’ve done it for 50 years.
They call it Christgiving.
“The idea of Christgiving is not really Christmas,” said Father James Dieker, pastor of multiple parishes in the Diocese of Dodge City. “It’s not really Thanksgiving.
“It’s about keeping tradition alive, the tradition of sharing and caring about other people more than yourself.”
Father Dieker is one of nine siblings raised on a farm in Westphalia. Their parents were devout Catholics who wanted to keep their children always close to each other and to their faith.
“My mother started this tradition,” said Father Dieker’s sister, Janet Dieker Huss. “Our family was moving away and getting married; it became impossible to get us all together for Christmas.”
To make sure her children reunited at least once every two years, Dorothy Dieker came up with a unique solution.
She started making stockings — green for the boys and red for the girls.
In every even-numbered year, Dorothy declared the family would gather during the Thanksgiving holidays, before the Christmas bustle began.
They would spend a few days together, sharing meals, playing games, and participating in Mass, rosaries, a live Nativity and sharing stockings.
The weekend would culminate with the first Advent Mass.
“And so, we knew [to reserve] every other year on Thanksgiving,” said Janet. “That was our time for our whole family to be there.
“So at Christmas, we could spend our time with the other sides of the family.”
When Dorothy died in 2012, her children committed to continuing the tradition in honor of her deep faith and love of family.
Janet took over making stockings as the family continued to grow.
“This year, I had six to make, because we’ve had four babies and two weddings,” she said.
At first, the celebration took place at the farmhouse. But soon, the family outgrew it and moved to an event venue.
This year, with 80 family members committed to come, the family gathered at Savior Pastoral Center.
“I think this is a very important effort of our family to stay intertwined, to stay aware of each other’s needs,” said Father Dieker. “It’s a chance to share our faith as we share our social time together.
“The sharing of gifts is so important to us that we include it also.”
And what’s in all those stockings?
You never know.
“We’ll have them hanging the minute we get there,” said Janet. “Everybody puts in and we try to be sneaky about it.
“Maybe somebody gets up early or stays up late at night, and you’ll see them putting something in the stockings.”
It may be homemade jams or snack mixes or honey; a new toothbrush from the niece who is a dentist; a carved treasure from the aunt who is a woodworker. Sometimes there are lottery tickets, and it’s always a religious item from Father Dieker.
This year, of course, somebody put in kazoos.
“It’s very important that we have a chance to celebrate as a family,” said Father Dieker. “You notice we remember our [deceased] parents and our brother Don who were so much a part of our family.”
Indeed, the family still hangs the stockings of their parents and brother. They fill these stockings with Mass cards.
“The grace of being in a large family is you learn how to be in the family of the church,” said Father Dieker. “It is so essential to be able to accept everyone, to invite them in anyway you can; and to always leave the door open for them to be part of it.”
What would Dorothy think of this continued celebration?
“She would be so proud,” said Janet. “She just loved to keep our family together.
“She just loved family.”
