by Father Mark Goldasich
When I hear that Gospel story about Jesus visiting the home of Martha and Mary (Lk 10:38-42), it makes me smile. What close friends Jesus must have been with these two sisters. Why?
Well, the answer is simple. Growing up, when “company” was coming over, I was instructed by my folks to be on my best behavior — polite, helpful, patient and pleasant. Any moaning about having to dress up, any complaining about how long the company was staying (or how boring they were), any wolfing down of my food, any coughing or sneezing without covering my mouth and, Lord forbid, any burping at the table were absolutely not tolerated. If any such infractions occurred, there would be — as my mom was wont to say — H-E-double-Q to pay when said company left!
When Martha bursts into the room, steamed to see Mary lounging at the feet of Jesus, she tells him in no uncertain terms, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me by myself to do the serving? Tell her to help me.” You don’t speak so pointedly before “polite company”; that’s talk reserved for family or people like family — that is, close friends, folks you can be yourself around!
It’s comforting to know that Jesus had friends like Martha, Mary and Lazarus. Perhaps their devoted friendship was the inspiration for Jesus telling his disciples, “I call you friends” (Jn 15:15).
What would we do without friends? Throughout the year, there are over 30 holidays that celebrate friendship. I’m glad there’s so many. In our busy and work-driven world, we risk becoming “human doings.” Making time with friends reminds us that we’re fundamentally called to be “human beings.” Friends remind us to slow down, connect and enjoy the tremendous gift that life is.
The following story amuses me:
Years ago, a family bought a new TV. The neighbors gathered one Saturday to help put up an antenna on the roof. Since they only had the most basic tools, progress was not only slow, but practically nonexistent.
Out of nowhere, a man who was new on the block appeared with an elaborate tool box containing all that was needed to install the antenna in record time. As the neighbors stood around congratulating themselves on this good luck, they asked this new neighbor what he made with all his fancy tools.
Looking at them, he smiled and replied, “Friends, mostly!” (Story found in “Illustrations Unlimited,” edited by James S. Hewitt.)
You won’t need any fancy tools to celebrate the International Day of Friendship on either July 30 or the first Sunday in August — or both, if you prefer! The holiday was promulgated in 2011 by the U.N. General Assembly with the idea “that friendship between peoples, countries, cultures and individuals can inspire peace efforts and build bridges between communities.” This theme was dear to Pope Francis who encouraged a “culture of encounter” and expanded that idea in his 2020 encyclical “Fratelli Tutti,” where he called us all to become brothers and sisters to care for each other and for this world we inhabit.
Especially on this holiday, keep that “international” character in mind. You might want to try one of the following:
• Explore your ancestral roots as a family.
• Support someone in a foreign country through Catholic Relief Services, Children International or Unbound.
• Dine at an ethnic restaurant and ask the wait staff to share their stories.
• Explore online organizations that specialize in getting an international “pen pal.”
I’ll close with this friendly reminder from psychologist Eugene Kennedy: “The main business of friendship is to sustain and make bearable each other’s burdens. We may do more of that as friends than we do anything else.”
