by Father Mark Goldasich
It’s those “unguarded” photos that give you a realistic glimpse of yourself. Several recent baptism photos posted online have shown me that “what the chasuble (the colorful outer garment worn by the priest) hides at Mass, the alb and stole I wear at baptisms do not.”
What I’m saying is that I’m now “twice the man” I was when I was in high school. Or put another way, I’ve turned my temple of the Holy Spirit into a major basilica. I literally see what my primary care physician regularly talks to me about a “weighty” issue: the dangers of lack of exercise and poor eating habits.
Thank goodness it’s September, which has been observed as Self-Improvement Month since 1988. I bet you can guess a couple of areas I’ll be addressing!
I eat out way too much. One reason for that is I enjoy sharing meals with friends. The other reasons are I’m afraid I’ll poison myself if I actually cook something; too many dishes are dirtied in the preparation of food which then takes only minutes to gobble down; I don’t have — or know — most of the ingredients mentioned in recipes; and it’s tough to cook for just one person.
In order to improve my diet, I dug deep into my bookshelves to resurrect some long-forgotten, and covered with dust, resources: “Serves One: Simple Meals to Savor When You’re on Your Own” by Toni Lydecker and “A Man, A Can, A Microwave: 50 Tasty Meals You Can Nuke in No Time” by David Joachim. The Joachim book even helpfully cautions “cooks” not to put the cans in the microwave. (I did know that!)
Starting this new adventure, I remember these words of Winston Churchill: “I am always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught.” In fact, I envision myself much like the young man in this story:
Hank, a landscape contractor, had his first full-fledged job. Because he didn’t want to appear the rank amateur that he knew he was, he feigned a casual nonchalance and expertise. One of his first tasks for a farmer was blasting out a stump with dynamite. Since the farmer was watching, Hank went to some length to measure out the fuses and set the dynamite — just as if he really knew what he was doing. But his problem was he really didn’t know how much dynamite would be just right to do the job.
When he was all set up, he breathed a prayer that he had enough dynamite packed under the stump . . . and yet not too much to blow them all to kingdom come. The moment of truth came. Hank gave the farmer what he hoped was a confident thumbs-up and pushed down the plunger.
The stump rose high in the air with a resounding BOOM, arched magnificently toward his pickup truck and landed right on the roof of the cab, demolishing it.
The farmer turned to Hank and said, “Son, you didn’t miss it by much, just a few feet. With a bit more practice, you’ll be able to land those suckers in the truck bed every time!” (Story found in “Illustrations Unlimited,” edited by James S. Hewitt.)
Just so you won’t worry, I have put the Tonganoxie Fire Department on alert as I hone my culinary skills.
Oh, by the way, the exercise portion of my self-improvement venture is simple and twofold: 1) push away from the table; and 2) get out and walk now that the weather is more comfortable. I’ve already got the workout clothes, shoes and audiobooks . . . now I just need the will power.
Pray for me!
