by Catherine Halbmaier
Special to The Leaven
BAILEYVILLE — “Faith will carry you through the difficult times in your life.”
That’s what Eugene (Gene) Holthaus, longtime parishioner of Sacred Heart Parish in Baileyville, has learned. And throughout the loss of his wife and daughter — and the caring for his paralyzed son — Holthaus has been a powerful witness to those who know him.
Linus Holthaus, brother of Gene, encouraged him to share his story.
“I told him, God has watched over you time and time again,” Linus said. “You need to tell this story in your words, with your feelings.”
Tragedy strikes
Since their childhood, Gene has been a hard worker, said Linus.
“Gene was a workaholic at an early age,” he said. “He went 100 miles an hour about everything he did. His life reminds me of Job’s story in the Bible. He went through a lot, but it never got him down. God only gives you what you can handle, and he won’t give you any more than you can.”
But God gave Gene a lot.
It started in 1993 when Kevin Holthaus, Gene’s son, broke his neck in a car accident, leaving Kevin paralyzed and requiring the constant care of his family.
Gene and his wife Jeanette would be on call throughout the night, ready to turn Kevin over or get him anything he needed.
“He’s grateful that he can still get around with a chair,” Gene said. “He looks at those who have it worse, and he’s thankful for what he can still do.”
Still, caring for Kevin required constant effort. But it was made much easier by the purchase of a special bed (from ProBed Medical USA Inc.) that could rotate Kevin as needed.
“It wasn’t cheap, but it’s worth every penny,” he said. “I want other families to know about this, in case it can help them take care of someone they love.”
After the passing of his wife, caring for Kevin became even more difficult.
Jeannette
“We met at a dance,” Gene recalled, of first meeting Jeanette. Even then, Jeanette was often sick, and Gene would visit her in the hospital. But the couple would go on to get married and have children before she was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2006.
“She was a great cook, never had to measure anything,” Gene remembered. “She also made beautiful quilts. After Mass, we would dance alone in our kitchen, I would go to bed, and she would go to her sewing room. She would wake me in the wee hours of the night to show me progress on a quilt. She would always remind me that I never complained when cattle came in the wee hours of the night.”
“One day,” Gene continued, “she came out of the room in the middle of a project and said, ‘I’m done.’ We sat on the couch together and she told me, ‘Will you be OK if I go?’ And I said, ‘Where will you be going’? ‘Home to Jesus,’ she told me. And I said, ‘If the Lord is calling you, and you’re ready, then you go. I will see you on the other side.’
“She almost smiled in relief. She wanted me to find someone I could be happy with,” he said. “I told her that isn’t going to happen. But she wanted me to be happy afterward. That’s true love.”
Shortly after his wife’s passing, Gene described what he believes to be a sign from the heavens.
“The night Jeanette passed had been rainy and cloudy. As I was driving Kevin home, my daughter was following me who was followed by my grandson. When we arrived, they both asked if I had seen the beam of light that had shone on Kevin’s van for about three miles. We took that as a sign that Jeanette was already in a better place.”
According to Gene, Jeanette always wanted to help others, even in her dying days. After her passing, she donated the gift of sight to someone in need.
But Gene’s faith was tested once again when his daughter Shelli took her own life in 2018.
According to Gene, Shelli was an exceptional athlete in her younger years. She was known as an excellent catcher on the softball team, and she grew to be a loving mother to four sons.
“The last time I saw her, she told me, ‘Goodbye, Dad,’” Gene said. “I knew something was wrong because she never talks like that, she never says goodbye — just, ‘See you later.’”
Gene still vividly recalls his daughter’s funeral service.
“I remember looking into the coffin and begging God to let me take her place,” Gene said. “Every time God talked to me, even when Shelli died, he said, ‘Gene, I’m not done with you yet. You’ve got work to do.’”
Witness
The witness of the unshakable faith of his brother Gene has left an impact on Linus and his children.
“God comes to you in the strangest ways at the strangest times — when you’re 80 or 18,” said Linus. “I think with a lot of people, God appears to them and they don’t realize it.
“But Gene did. He accepted his cross.”
“Gene will be 80,” Linus added, “[but] you’d never know it from the way he works. His faith in God and faith in people is stronger than I’ve ever seen it. He won’t avoid talk of death, because people want listeners. They want to talk about the person they lost, and he can identify with their problem.”
Father Reginald Saldanha, pastor of Sacred Heart in Baileyville, has seen that faith firsthand.
“I have been here for seven years now as [Gene Holthaus’] pastor,” Father Saldanha said. “He is a very faithful Catholic. I see him almost every day for Mass.”
He has also seen the way his parishioner has dealt with immense grief, and himself has drawn lessons from it.
“[Gene] told me he just prays for the grace to live the day,” said Father Saldanha, “and I have noticed that his strength comes from the Eucharist. He never misses Mass and tries to bring his grandkids. He’s a great model to them.”
“His act of enduring suffering,” he added, “I consider it as a treasure. I think anybody who knows him can grow and become a stronger Christian and Catholic by his example.”
“He is a man who faced a lot of challenges in his life,” agreed Father Arul Carasala, pastor of Sts. Peter and Paul Parish in Seneca.
Father Carasala came to know Gene through his daughter Shelli, who was in his parish.
“He was very dedicated to taking care of Jeanette until she passed away,” he said. “Eventually, Shelli took her own life.
“Despite all of that he was solid in his faith. He never blamed any of it on God; rather, he approached God with an attitude of ‘you can help me to get through this.’”
“I encouraged him to join our grief support group,” Father Carasala continued. “After a year of this program, he said that was the best thing he ever did in his life.”
Sharing his story
Gene hopes that by sharing his story and that of his family, he can spread a message of faith and peace.
“Faith gives you inner strength and a sense of balance and a perspective of life that will let you go on living in peace,” Gene said. “I’m not doing this for me. I just hope someone out there can hear this and take something from it.”
“Take care of what the Lord has given you,” he concluded, “and when it is our time, I have faith the Lord will say, ‘Job well done.’
“That is farmer’s talk, but sure seems to be true!”
