by Deacon Dana Nearmyer
Blessing your family relationships with warm Catholic faith experiences will increase the likelihood that children will remain Catholic (Center for Applied Research in the Apostolate, 2024).
Warm Catholic/Christian relationships can be fostered when we B.L.E.S.S. them:
• Begin in prayer (God is your guide)
• Listen (see below)
• Eat (cook and/or, at least, share meals)
• Serve (see a need/fill a need)
• Story (build and share memories)
As families approach Thanksgiving and Christmas, listening is especially crucial.
In a July 2024 report by the National Center for Health Statistics, just over a quarter of teens said they always get the social and emotional support they need while parents were nearly three times more likely to think they did.
Overall, 93% of parents thought their children always or usually had the social and emotional support they need, but only about 59% of teens felt that was true. Instead, 20% of teens said that they rarely or never had the support they need, compared with only about 3% of parents who thought the same.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer, a German theologian who died in a Nazi prison, wrote this passage on listening:
“The first service that one owes to others . . . [is] listening to them. Just as love to God begins with listening to his Word, so the beginning of love for the brethren is learning to listen to them. It is God’s love for us that he not only gives us his Word but also lends us his ear.”
Bonhoeffer continued: “Christians, especially ministers [and parents], so often think they must always contribute something when they are in the company of others, that this is the one service they have to render. They forget that listening can be a greater service than speaking. Many people are looking for an ear that will listen. They do not find it among Christians, because these Christians are talking where they should be listening. But he who can no longer listen to his brother will soon be no longer listening to God either; he will be doing nothing but prattling in the presence of God, too. This is the beginning of the death of the spiritual life.”
2024 research from the Walton Family Foundation and Gallup, in partnership with psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour, reveals 62% of teens say they want their parents to listen to them when they are upset, and 56% want their parents to give them space.
Meanwhile, about half as many children (28%) want their parents to give them advice.
Listening and warm, generous faith sharing are especially important in building strong Catholic identity in our young people, and they will strengthen our marriages and all of our relationships.
