by Father Mark Goldasich
There’s nothing quite as exciting as beginning a brand-new year. I’m a fervent believer in making resolutions; I only wish that I would be as fervent in keeping them!
A great reminder at this time of year comes from Tony Compolo — a Baptist pastor, author and sociologist — who relays this story from a friend who counseled a man that was falling out of love with his wife:
The counselor advised the man to think of ways he could make life happier for his wife and then do them. A few days later, the counselor received a phone call from the husband who related the following:
“Every day, I leave for work, put in a hard day, come home dirty and sweaty, stumble in the back door, go to the refrigerator, get something to drink and then go into the rec room and watch TV until suppertime.
“After talking to you, I decided I’d do better than that in the future. So yesterday, before I left work, I showered and shaved and put on a clean shirt. On the way home, I stopped at a florist and bought a bouquet of roses. Instead of going in the back door, I went to the front door and rang the doorbell.
“My wife opened the door, took one look at me and burst into tears. When I asked what was wrong, she said, ‘It’s been a horrible day. First, Billy broke his leg and had to have it put in a cast. I no sooner returned home from the hospital when your mother called and said that she’s coming and staying for three weeks. I tried to do the wash and the washing machine broke and there’s water all over the basement. And now, look at you. You just had to come home drunk!’” (Story adapted from “Behavior Change,” found in “Illustrations Unlimited,” edited by James S. Hewett.)
Maybe a reason we don’t stick to our resolutions is because we believe that the change in us would be so sudden and so drastic — like that poor guy in the story — that no one would recognize us. While it’s possible that our transformation could be radical and immediate, most change usually doesn’t work that way.
There’s a theological idea that “grace builds on nature.” In other words, God takes the person that we are now and little by little makes us better. That might be the secret to making resolutions that are realistic.
Most of us want to make several big changes in our life in an impossibly short amount of time. Better to concentrate instead on one or at most two items that we can chip away at over the course of a year — one day, one week, one month at a time.
I’ll be working on a couple of things for this year. Feel free as the year goes on, to ask me about my progress . . . or lack thereof. Because I tend to arrive at Mass or appointments right “under the gun” with no time built in for traffic delays or lost keys or a misplaced wallet, I resolve to leave 10 minutes earlier than I normally would to lessen stress on me and others.
Secondly, since I spend too much time indoors and sitting, I resolve to get up and walk around a bit every half hour — my Apple Watch will beep me “on my toes” with this — and to spend at least 15 minutes a day outdoors to get some fresh air.
Be bold in 2026. Make a resolution or two and draw the strength to persevere by praying each day: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Phil 4:13).
