by Marc and Julie Anderson
mjanderson@theleaven.org
OVERLAND PARK — “Be the change you want to see in the world.”
That sentiment resonates deeply with Paul and Tracy Satterfield, members of Holy Spirit Parish here, who are helping bring hope and healing to marriages around the globe.
Both work full-time jobs, but in the evenings and on weekends they devote themselves to Retrouvaille, a Catholic peer ministry for struggling marriages whose name means “rebirth.”
Less than five months into their roles as international coordinators, the Satterfields are already living out that mission in ways they never imagined. In a single week, they may speak with couples or ministry leaders in England, Denmark or Zimbabwe. Another week could involve Canada, Italy or South Africa.
They answer questions about starting communities in Belize, Guatemala or Portugal, while also supporting existing teams across 124 communities worldwide.
At the heart of it all is a simple desire: to help save marriages. It’s a mission born of their own story.
In 2012, the Satterfields were on the brink of divorce when a judge encouraged them to try one last time.
They attended a Retrouvaille weekend and continued with its follow-up sessions. Slowly, through grace and perseverance, healing began.
In time, they felt called to share with others what they had rediscovered — not just a restored relationship, but the joy of God’s plan for marriage.
That call led them into deeper service.
In 2023, while in Africa, they were unexpectedly named deputy international coordinators. For two years, they prepared for the role by shadowing their predecessors in the position, John and Donna Bigler of Palmdale, California.
At the beginning of this year, they stepped into their new role. Father Mark Mason of the Archdiocese of Oklahoma City now serves with them, offering spiritual guidance.
“Evenings and every night, we’re doing something related to Retrouvaille,” Tracy said.
The work is steady and often unseen.
“It takes a lot of hours, a lot of heart, but it’s incredibly rewarding,” Paul said.
Much of their ministry is rooted in simple, faithful connection.
“We get to meet people,” Paul said. “People will call us and say, ‘How do we get a hold of this?’ or ‘How do we find this?’”
For him, those moments of encounter are a grace.
“We take the time to answer or return their calls promptly and build that relationship,” he said.
Sometimes, the path forward begins with a small step of faith. When the couple wanted to reach more church leaders, Paul wasn’t sure how to begin.
“I said, ‘We need to find a way to get a hold of more church leaders,’” he recalled.
Tracy offered a simple suggestion: “Why don’t we just call the Vatican and ask?”
To his surprise, doors began to open.
“People start picking up the phone. They do. They answer,” Paul said. “It kind of bends your mind when you’re working with people that have those titles and they take your call.”
Their work has also opened their eyes to the beauty — and challenges — of different cultures. Tracy recently spoke at the Catholic African Women’s Conference, where many women shared that they sometimes feel out of place in the United States.
“They thought Americans do not have problems,” Tracy said.
By sharing her own story, she helped bridge that gap.
“I shared some of my family of origin stories, and they’re like, ‘Wow, we had no idea that you guys had that problem,’” she said. “We’re just culturally different because we don’t share our problems very easily.”
“That’s an American problem,” Paul added.
The couple has also seen how modern pressures, especially social media, can weigh on marriages.
“People are afraid to get help for their marriage,” Paul said, pointing to the pressure to maintain a “perfect image we have on Facebook.”
Behind those images, however, reality can be very different.
“We get couples all the time talking about how social media has really hurt them,” Tracy said, noting how even small online interactions can create insecurity and distrust.
Social media can make it seem as if everyone else is happy. But many couples, Paul said, are quietly struggling.
“Many couples pretend to be happy but have not shared the same bed for years,” he said.
He pointed to a recent survey showing that one in five active Catholic couples is struggling, yet many hesitate to seek help out of fear of appearing less than perfect.
“Part of our role is trying to help influence the culture of change,” Paul said.
Retrouvaille has been offering that help for nearly 50 years. While it once served more than 6,000 couples annually, participation dropped to about 1,800 in 2023. This year, however, communities are on track to serve approximately 2,400 couples — a hopeful sign of renewal.
Still, challenges remain. One of the biggest is awareness. Many long-established communities are hesitant to embrace new ways of reaching people, even as more individuals spend significant time online.
Communities willing to adapt, Paul said, are beginning to see new life.
Part of the Satterfields’ role is to walk with those communities, offering guidance not only in outreach, but also in working with bishops, priests and deacons — helping them see how this ministry strengthens both marriages and the life of the church.
“When a couple gets divorced, they lose the family,” Paul said. “When you lose the family, you lose the sacraments, and within one generation, you lose God.”
Retrouvaille offers something many pastors, despite their dedication, simply cannot: time.
“Priests do not have 60 to 70 hours to spend with one couple, but we do,” Paul said. “And it’s free.”
His invitation to clergy is simple and heartfelt.
“We just say, ‘Send them to us.’”
For more information about Retrouvaille, including an upcoming weekend in Kansas City in June, visit: helpourmarriage.org.
