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Christ calls us to love our spouses the way he loves his church

Libby DuPont is a consultant for the archdiocesan office of marriage and family life.

by Libby DuPont

Throughout history, marriage has been a building block of society. For upper classes, it was a way of creating alliances and producing heirs. For the lower classes, it was a matter of survival, as couples would work together to keep the farm or business going.

Marriage is still good for society. In his recent book, “Get Married,” sociologist Brad Wilcox reports that both men and women who get and stay married experience greater wealth and happier lives than their unmarried peers. He also cites evidence that the presence of married parents is a statistically significant benefit to children and communities.

Natural marriage is good, but the sacrament of matrimony is something distinct.  A sacramentally married couple becomes an image of Christ’s love for the church.  They become one before God, and Jesus the bridegroom enters into a deep intimacy with them. This is not just fancy religious language. If we embrace it, it’s a total game changer!

Pathway to holiness. Even faithful Catholics can see marriage as a living situation, as if it were just the church’s way of repopulating itself. Within this model, it can be easy to seek holiness as two separate individuals, even sometimes considering the romantic love that is proper to marriage as an impediment to the more “serious” pursuits of life. But since Christ is present in matrimony, one way to grow closer to him is by pursuing deeper intimacy with our spouse.

Mission mindset. Like all sacraments, matrimony is not a private affair. It’s intended to bless the whole church with a living witness of Christ’s passionate love. The dignity of our vocation calls us to reconcile quickly and thoroughly, lavish affection and share our hearts and souls. Why? Because that is how Jesus loves the church! We need to love one another with authentic joy, something Christ is eager to give us the grace to do.

Reverence. Matrimony seems so ordinary that it is easy to take for granted, or even disrespect. Can you imagine a group of priests jokingly calling the Eucharist “snack time”?  We would be horrified! Yet it’s not uncommon for Catholic couples to commiserate about the “ball and chain” or the importance of just saying, “Yes, dear.”

Preparation and support. Since matrimony is a sacrament, and the call to holiness for the majority of the faithful, the church should be intentional in the ways it invests in it. While this certainly includes considerations on the diocesan and parish level, we need to remember that we are all members of Christ’s body, so we all have a stake in marriage, whether married or not.

How might Jesus be inviting you to support the great sacrament of matrimony?

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Libby DuPont

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