by Libby DuPont
The happiness of our children is important to us. We work hard to provide for them, get them coaches, lessons and tutors to develop their potential. We give gifts, throw parties and go on trips to create memories.
Yet often, we’re so busy doing these things we miss one area that could make all the difference —marriage!
According to sociologist Brad Wilcox, the odds of being “very happy” with life increase by 545% for those in a good marriage. How can we set them up for success in this crucial area?
Here are three conversations to have with your teen now and some tips to get you started.
Cohabitation
Despite its widespread cultural acceptance, the statistics still tell us that living together decreases your chances of a happy marriage. Don’t wait until your young adult asks to borrow your truck. Spend some time now helping them understand the sociological and theological reasons to avoid this practice.
Natural Family Planning (NFP)
Couples who use NFP have lower rates of divorce and higher rates of happiness in marriage, but often they don’t hear about it until marriage prep. Teaching our daughters how to track their cycles is a means of helping them grow into healthy young women — physically, psychologically and spiritually. Teaching our sons some basics about the goodness of fertility can help them appreciate the beauty of women.
Healthy Relationships
What qualities make a good spouse? How can you build the virtues you need to become one? What is the point of a dating relationship and what does a healthy one look like? If we don’t discuss these questions with our kids, their vision will be shaped by our culture.
Now for some tips on the conversations themselves:
• Aim for multiple, short conversations rather than one big lecture. Listen before talking.
• Is this info new to you? Have you made mistakes? That’s OK! Be not afraid to learn with your kids.
• Use movies, TV, music or even people you know to bring topics up naturally. Ask them, “What do you think of that?”
• Read a book together such as “How to Avoid Falling in Love With a Jerk” by John Van Epp or “Gift and Grit” by Dr. Andrew and Sarah Swafford.
• Go online to: www.compassforparents.org, a resource produced by the Archdiocese of Detroit, for resources on these and other important topics, as well as tips for having difficult conversations with your kids.
