
by Archbishop Joseph F. Naumann
Thank you to all who have shared your prayer intentions with me. I keep all of them in a basket in my chapel to remind me every day to pray for your intentions. I keep a stack of the intention cards on a writing table in the chapel and read 10 to 25 each day. These intention cards help to make me aware of what is happening in the lives of all those who are under my pastoral care.
There are many requests for the physical health and healing of family members and friends. There are requests for the protection of the unborn, for peace in the world, for employment opportunities, for adult children to find a good spouse, for eternal happiness in heaven for loved ones who have died, and for personal spiritual growth and renewal.
By far the most frequent prayer intention is for adult children to recover and deepen their faith and for their return to the church. For a bishop, it is heartbreaking that so many parents and grandparents are experiencing this profound sadness.
I pray for all of your intentions, but there is not a day that goes by when I am not praying for the renewed faith and return to the church of many adults who have been baptized Catholic and raised in Catholic families. It is important for parents to understand that this is not necessarily a reflection of failure on their part.
First of all, there are no guarantees that adult children will continue to live their Catholic faith. Catholic parents are called to live their faith with fidelity and passion. Your children have a free will. You cannot control the choices that they make in adulthood.
In the nuptial blessing for Catholic marriages, the priest prays for the newly married couple: “May these your servants hold fast to the faith and keep your commandments; made one in flesh, may they be blameless in all they do; and with the strength that comes from the Gospel, may they bear true witness to Christ before all; may they be blessed with children, and prove themselves virtuous parents, who live to see their children’s children.”
This is a bold blessing, praying that the newlyweds: 1) hold fast to the faith; 2) keep the commandments; 3) are blameless in all they do; 4) bear witness to Christ before all; and 5) prove themselves virtuous parents. Even if you did all those things perfectly, your adult children are still free to choose to reject friendship with Jesus and living their Catholic faith.
Parents are the first and most influential teachers of the faith, but they are not the only teachers. A few generations ago, parents had more control over the environment in which their children came of age. Certainly, the failure of some bishops and priests to be good shepherds and the clergy sexual abuse scandal did great harm to the faith of many of all ages. Internet influencers, social media, entertainment industry personalities, university professors, flawed political leaders and peer pressure can all have a significant impact on children.
Jesus did not promise his disciples that following him would be easy. To follow Our Lord requires striving to live lives of heroic love. The devil knows our weaknesses and vulnerabilities. The prince of this world attempts to entice us with material things, popularity, worldly esteem and pleasure to allure us away from Jesus and the truth of his Gospel.
More than 20 years ago, before I came to the archdiocese, Mary Ann and Bob Gardner were experiencing the sadness of an adult child abandoning the faith. Mary Ann had a particular devotion to our Blessed Mother under her title Our Lady of Sorrows. They began praying the daily rosary for the renewal of the faith of their son. They also began the Marian Mantle Ministry that has two purposes: 1) to bring peace to hurting parents, relatives and friends; and 2) to pray for adult children to find their way back to Jesus, the church and the sacraments.
I encourage everyone in the archdiocese to pray for individuals in your families and friends who, for whatever reason, have chosen to stop living their Catholic faith. I encourage you to go to the MarianMantle.com website to find many prayer resources to help pray for your family members. The Lord may be calling you to start or to join a Marian Mantle group in your parish. I also encourage you to include fasting and other sacrifices with your intercessory prayer for the intention of the return of loved ones to the faith.
The Walk With One initiative of the Eucharistic Revival also encourages a similar effort to pray for the return of loved ones to the Catholic faith or to introduce individuals who do not yet know Jesus to the beauty of our Catholic faith.
Walk With One begins by asking the Holy Spirit to reveal to us the person for whom he desires us to be an instrument of his grace. Walk With One encourages us to be intentional in deepening our relationship with the person for whom we are praying and fasting.
Before ever talking about faith, spend time building your friendship and relationship with this person. Do all that you can to make them know how much you care about them, and celebrate the goodness you recognize in them.
In many cases, you will not be the instrument Our Lord desires to use in bringing your family members closer to him and back to the church. In such a case, we need to persevere in praying for our family member and petition the Lord to bring the best person to walk with our loved one.
Prayer has to be the foundation for all of our efforts to bring loved ones back to Jesus and his church. We need to be persistent in our prayer for our loved ones and docile to how the Holy Spirit wants to use us to be an instrument of grace in opening the heart of another to the truth, beauty and joy of friendship with Jesus and to being part of his family, the church.
Adult children abandoning their faith has been a spiritual epidemic for decades. 2025 is a Holy Year, a Jubilee Year. It is an anointed time for the Holy Spirit to bring reconciliation and renewal to the hearts of his people. Let us pray and sacrifice for our loved ones that this Jubilee Year will be the time when they rediscover the peace and joy that only Jesus can bring to their hearts.