by Libby DuPont
During Advent and Christmas, we are bombarded with images of smiling families baking cookies in their matching pajamas, or cozy lovebirds snuggled up by the fire. For those dealing with difficult relationships, this can compound feelings of alienation and shame.
Luckily, the “meaning of Christmas” is not a warm, fuzzy feeling. It’s the fact that God went to radical lengths to heal us of our brokenness.
God could have chosen to leave us to our own devices, or just to offer some comfort at an arm’s length. But instead, he chose to take on human flesh and experience poverty, betrayal, rejection, abuse and even death. He knows what it’s like to not have enough. He has been the victim of unjust systems. He was abandoned by the people who claimed to love him most. He was physically and psychologically tormented. He shares every human experience with one important difference — he endures them without sinning.
This leaves us with two powerful lessons. First, struggling with something ugly doesn’t make us “second-class Catholics,” and it certainly doesn’t exclude us from celebrating Christmas. Even in cases where we are at fault, Jesus desires repentance, not shame. Allowing him to love us in our sin and weakness is the best gift we can offer him!
Secondly, Jesus and Mary can teach us how to be holy in a broken world. We can’t change the behavior of others, nor can we always change our circumstances. But as we allow Jesus to heal our wounds, we can ask him to show us how to replace destructive responses with love.
If the holiday season is exacerbating painful relationships in your life, I encourage you to reach out to the church for help. Here are a few resources:
Find a Catholic counselor: archkck.org/catholic-counselors
Struggling marriages: helpourmarriage.org
Adult children of divorced/separated parents: archkck.org/LGW
Mental health resources: archkck.org/special-needs/mental-health
Healing from divorce: thecall2love.com
Learning to forgive: forgivenessinstitutekc.com
Catholic addiction support: callixsociety.org
