Hospice volunteer provides spiritual and social support

by Amy Reinhardt
Special to The Leaven

LENEXA — For over four years, Tom Farmer has visited and built relationships with hospice patients throughout the archdiocese.

Farmer, a parishioner of Prince of Peace Church in Olathe, already had hospice ministry on his mind when his family moved to the area from southeast Kansas.

“It is a calling, I believe,” claimed Farmer. “It’s an incredible gift to share someone’s journey as they near the end of life.”

The devoted volunteer shared how he used to fear death. After losing his mother to cancer when he was 15, he drifted away from his faith in college. It was after he got married that faith became the cornerstone of his life.

He became a hospice volunteer in 2020 for what is now called Catholic Community Health. He’s provided spiritual care and companionship to 15 patients since then.

The time he spends with each patient varies. Farmer shared the journey of his first patient for 16 months. He stopped by the patient’s home every week for two hours.

Although Catholic Community Health is based in Lenexa, Farmer has been assigned patients who still live in their homes and others who live in facilities, like Our Lady of Grace Hospice House at Villa St. Francis in Olathe. He will go wherever his patient is.

While Farmer was nervous at first, he soon grew very comfortable in his role.

“When you’re doing it from a foundation of faith, I believe it all happens naturally,” he said.

Farmer developed a steady routine as the years passed. He looked forward to visiting his patients. They became a weekly highlight, especially when he prayed with them.

He has found that ministering to those on hospice has enriched his life as well.

“People have a need to give,” said Farmer. “Obviously in the Catholic faith, we’re called to be with the sick. It’s one of the corporal works of mercy.”

Tammy Urriola is the volunteer coordinator for Catholic Community Health. Before accepting her role three years ago, she worked as a hospice certified nurse aide (CNA)  for 15 years.

Getting to know each volunteer helps Urriola identify the right volunteer for each patient. Since Farmer is very spiritual, she links him with very spiritual Catholics.

“I really enjoy making good matches,” Urriola beamed. “It means a lot to me when I know the right volunteer is with the right patient.”

Farmer and Urriola first crossed paths while she was a CNA. She still remembers the memorable first impression he made.

“Tom is remarkable. So giving, compassionate and caring,” she said. “He goes above and beyond. There’s nobody like him.”

Out of 50 volunteers, Urriola said the age range of most volunteers is between 50 and 70. There’s a mix of retirees and full-time employees, like Farmer.

“I’m really impressed with how much love and compassion these people give,” Urriola said. “It’s really beautiful seeing the friendships.”

Urriola conducts additional training during the first patient visit. From then on, she performs an annual supervisory visit.

Even though she’s not physically present, Urriola receives reports for all visits, which give her insight into the patients, volunteers and situations.

Each patient is visited at least once every two weeks, with weekly visits preferred. 

Despite working full-time as the director of grants at Catholic Charities of Northeast Kansas, Farmer’s visits still last one to two hours. He strives to visit his patients weekly, if possible.

Not all Catholic Community Health hospice patients are Catholic, he said.

“I’ve had devout, fallen away and even a few atheists,” said Farmer. “It doesn’t matter what their religious position is. What you’re doing is spending time with them during a difficult time in their life.”

The experienced volunteer always offers to pray with his patients. Whatever their answer, he respects it.

“I’m a people person insofar as I like one-on-one a lot,” he said. “I love learning about peoples’ lives and hearing their stories.”

Farmer is a member of the Knights of Columbus and an active participant in the Breadrunners ministry. But his hospice involvement holds a special place in his heart.

“Out of all the things I do for the church, this is the one thing I would never change,” he said.

Hospice patients not only receive support from their volunteers, they also have access to clergy, like Deacon Jim Lavin, one of the chaplains with Catholic Community Health.

The deacon’s responsibilities range from offering spiritual and emotional support to providing or coordinating sacraments. He is also another set of eyes on patients.

He views the hospice volunteers as his partners. They’re able to spend more time with the patients, while the deacon’s visits are relatively short due to a large caseload.

During his short 20-minute visits, Deacon Lavin aims to offer a gentle presence, spoken prayer, and words of comfort and encouragement.

“I want them to know God loves them and wants to be united with them,” he said.

“If you have any inkling you may be called to this ministry, I strongly encourage you to pursue it,” Farmer said. “I can’t even explain what it’s done for my faith.”

To learn more about Catholic Community Health or becoming a hospice volunteer, visit the website at: www.catholiccommunityhealth.org.